Water, Water Everywhere But Not a Drop to Drink
by Jemmiah
Summary: ObiWan & friends play a little prank on Yoda and co.


Here's one that takes place a few days before 'Elementary, my dear Obi-Wan' and a few weeks before 'A Night to (Almost) Remember'.   
  
TITLE: WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE? (BUT NOT A DROP TO DRINK)   
  
"I'm bored." Jemmiah groaned as she dragged her shoulder bag across the grass of the temple gardens.   
"You should think yourself lucky that your tutor only teaches you on certain days." Obi-Wan replied morosely. "For some of us this teaching thing is an all round the clock effort."   
"You're free now." Jemmiah smiled.   
  
"True." Kenobi shielded his eyes from the glaring rays of the sun as they trudged over to their favorite part of the temple. It was an old tree that blossomed at certain times of the year, where Obi-Wan had once made a swing out of an old piece of wood and some rope. The swing was long since gone, partly because the council hadn't approved it in the first place but mostly because Obi-Wan had nearly managed to kill Jemmiah when he'd been a little to ambitious with his force push. That had been over four years ago.   
  
"You're thinking about that swing, aren't you?" Jemmiah laughed. "You nearly did for me then, didn't you?"   
  
He caught the teasing in her voice. "My master was beginning to think he was a jinx. You could just see him thinking 'not another one for the healers!' He was terrified everyone would have him labeled as a neglecter of children!"   
"I still like this place best." She shrugged. "It's nice and peaceful. Just what you need after a hard days study with professor perfect."   
"What's he like?" Obi-Wan asked with perhaps the slightest stirring of jealousy.   
  
"Tall, dark, good looking…that's the plus side. But he likes mathematics and Galactic Geography so that more than cancels out any virtues he has." She shuddered. "Sith, I hate mathematics."   
"I'd never have guessed." Kenobi grinned as they crossed over towards the tree.   
"He says if I'm good his going to give me special tutoring." She replied impishly, watching his face darken.   
  
Obi-Wan fell silent. Just tell her, he thought. Get it over with. The worst thing she can say is no. Damn it, Kenobi. Ask her out before somebody else does!   
  
"Jemmiah," he sat himself down under the shade of the tree, "I was wondering…"   
"Yes?" She looked at him casually.   
"Er…I was wondering if," he swallowed, "you could tell me what the time is."   
  
Jemmiah shrugged. "It's five minutes after the last time you asked me. Is something wrong? You don't have to leave already, do you?"   
  
Was that disappointment, Kenobi wondered?   
  
"N-no." He smiled. "Have you heard what they're doing to the gardens?"   
  
Jemmiah shook her head, and then proceeded to twist her chestnut hair around one finger. Obi-Wan swallowed. Sith, I wish she wouldn't do that, he thought! I'm not sure she'd be too happy if I told her I had a thing about her hair…   
  
"They're, er, putting in some new sprinkler system…or …something." He said, still keeping his eyes on her hair.   
"Really? That's nice." She said idly. Looking up suddenly, she spotted Kryztan Harkley and waved at him. "Look Ben, it's Kryztan."   
  
She stood up and walked over to meet the blonde haired young man, loping away with her loose Corellian gait. Obi-Wan watched her go.   
  
"Great." He said.   
  
The pair returned a minute or so later, with Harkley sitting between Jemmiah and himself.   
  
Even better, thought Kenobi sarcastically.   
  
"Did you hear about the new sprinkler thingy that they're installing in the fountain gardens? It's supposed to be massive!" Kryztan asked, filled with importance.   
"Yes." Obi-Wan replied shortly.   
"Oh." Harkley blinked in surprise. That had rather taken the wind out his sails.   
  
"Why are they putting it in?" Jemmiah asked. "Surely it'll cost an arm and a leg to fit up properly. And the money could be much better spent keeping you in Bacta for the next half year or so."   
"Thank you." Obi-Wan muttered.   
"Yoda's getting it done for free. He's invited virtually everyone to the grand opening next week. Padawans, masters, initiates…journalists. That sort of thing."   
"Reporters?" Obi-Wan groaned. "My master HATES the press. I hope they manage to keep out of his way."   
"Oh, come on Ben!" Jemmiah laughed musically. "What could possibly go wrong?"   
  
******************************   
  
"This promises to be a VERY dull day." Jemmiah yawned, exactly a week later on from the day that Obi-Wan had made his first aborted attempt to ask her out. Several times since then he had been on the verge of actually getting the words out and each time he had bottled out spectacularly. He glanced at her sideways as they walked to the edge of the fountain garden to observe the work going on. The sprinklers had been well hidden at various intervals amidst the grounds, and at a touch of a switch the whole place would become awash with glorious, dancing waves and falling spray.   
  
In theory.   
  
Jemmiah yawned for the umpteenth time.   
  
"Are you tired?" Obi-Wan frowned.   
  
She blushed. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, that's all."   
  
He tried to make some conversation. "How's the professor?"   
"Not bad." She grinned.   
  
Kenobi was about to ask her what she meant when Jemmiah spotted Menali-Jay Abran and waved him over.   
  
Not again, thought Obi-Wan desperately.   
  
"Just came to see how this sprinkler whatsit was coming along." Abran said striding over to the pair.   
"You and everybody else in the temple." Kenobi sighed. So far they had encountered Simeon, Letina, Kryztan and even Master Windu on an inspection of the work. There was just no way he was going to be able to work up the courage to ask Jemmy out if he kept getting interrupted like this…   
  
He stopped to sniff the air.   
  
"What is that awful stink?" He wrinkled his nose.   
Jemmiah glanced around in distaste, trying to follow the undesirable smell to its source. "It's over there." She nodded over in the direction of Yoda's ornamental gardens. "It's that horrible fertilizer stuff that gets thrown onto the Alderaani roses. Yeeeeeuck!"   
"I don't know how anything can survive covered in that." Abran groaned in disgust. "That is just putrid!"   
  
Jemmiah stopped suddenly, a germ of an idea beginning to seed itself in her mind.   
  
"Is that a slurry pump they use for that thing?" She asked.   
"I imagine so." Obi-Wan replied. "The muck will be kept in that tank Yoda had installed and pumped out through a hose and into a sprinkler system…"   
  
He could suddenly follow where her thoughts were heading.   
  
"Jemmy, NO! We will get killed. Not just slightly, but very much totally."   
"But think about it!" Her eyes were wild with excitement. "Nobody will EVER have played a practical joke on such a scale! It will be magnificent!"   
"I'm game." Jay Abran folded his arms and looked expectantly at Obi-Wan.   
"I thought you were brave." Jemmy sounded disappointed.   
  
Impulsively, Kenobi agreed. There would be no way of winning Jemmiah if he backed out now.   
  
"I'm in." He agreed.   
  
Jemmiah smiled at him.   
  
"Just incase we get found out, I shall be the one to switch the pumps." She smirked. "They can't send me to Bandomeer. All they can do is give me a severe ticking off."   
  
Obi-Wan didn't like it, but held his tongue.   
  
**************************   
  
"Are you not coming to see this new technological wonder of Yoda's, padawan?" Qui-Gon asked in surprise.   
  
"Er, I think I shall give it a miss, master. I have the rest of my life to see it, and it will be easier to appreciate it better without crowds of noisy initiates trampling all over the grass."   
"I couldn't have expressed it any better myself." Jinn sighed. "But I can't get out of this. As a former padawan of Yoda's, I'm expected to lend my support."   
"Take my advice, master. Do it from the back." Kenobi offered.   
"What?"   
"Nothing, master." He hurriedly covered his tracks. "You'd better go. Or Master Yoda will be after you with his stick."   
  
***************************   
  
Qui-Gon met up with Gilda Amaline, Mace Windu and Dex Berlingside just before the start of the grand opening. Berlingside, as always, looked handsome and dashing even in his Jedi robes. His padawan, Kryztan Harkley stood just out of earshot.   
  
"No Obi-Wan today?" Berlingside asked.   
"He decided the crowds weren't to his taste and stayed at home." Qui-Gon replied.   
"So did mine." Amaline nodded. "I would have thought Jay would have relished this sort of thing, but he said he'd catch it another time."   
"Isn't Jemmiah here?" Kryztan asked.   
"Evla said she had a headache and was going to give it a miss."   
  
Interesting, thought Qui-Gon, remembering Obi-Wan's warning to stand at the back away from the crowds.   
  
"I think we'd be better over there." He indicated with a sweep of his hands.   
"But we won't see anything." Amaline frowned.   
"Suit yourselves." Jinn shrugged.   
  
He had a bad feeling, oh yes indeed.   
  
**************************   
  
"You've switched the pumps?" Kenobi said dryly.   
"Uh-huh. Should be quite spectacular." Jemmiah grinned.   
"I think we should just go back to our apartments and make good our excuses." Abran warned, before walking away. He looked furtively about him and then tore across the lawn towards the nearest lift.   
  
"Are you staying for the big event?" Jemmiah asked.   
  
He stared at her. "We've come this far. Might as well see it through to the end."   
  
She stifled a smile. "Here goes."   
  
***********************   
  
"Great pleasure it gives me, to declare open these gardens." Yoda said, standing on a specially erected platform. He cast his eyes around and noticed with displeasure that Qui-Gon was standing as far away from him as possible. An-Paj was also visible standing next to the tall Jedi. Near the front were Yaddle, Mace Windu, Dex Berlingside, Vernice Ashdal, Sal-Fina Fal'mar and a number of other masters and padawans.   
  
Yoda would not forget this lack of support in a hurry.   
  
He waved his hand and indicated that the switch should be thrown.   
  
There was a kind of rumble that made Qui-Gon take a protective few steps even further back. Something very strange was about to happen, something that Qui-Gon did not feel very happy about at all…   
  
The strange roaring built up to a crescendo and then suddenly everything went black.   
  
Or rather brown.   
  
From tiny holes in the ground, something that looked and smelt akin to what Qui-Gon could only describe as raw sewage jetted into the sky. It fell in great sheets, covering everybody in the front three lines from head to foot. The immaculately quaffed pair of Dex Berlingside and Kryztan Harkley were virtually unrecognizable, as was Sal-Fina. Yoda and Yaddle had completely disappeared.   
  
Qui-Gon hadn't even got his boots dirtied.   
  
Amidst the screams, he could hear Mace Windu shouting for someone to switch the damn thing off. Jinn turned round at the last moment in time to see his padawan and Jemmiah legging it as fast as they could across the lawns.   
  
Jinn smiled.   
  
*****************************   
  
"How did it go, Master?" Obi-Wan asked.   
  
Qui-Gon took off his cloak and hung it outside in the open air. The slurry may not have touched him but the smell did tend to cling.   
  
As Yoda was finding out at the moment.   
  
"It was very enjoyable, Obi-Wan. Very. Most illuminating, infact." He stared at his padawan intensely. "I would even say it was an eye opener."   
  
Kenobi said nothing at first, before inquiring if his master would like something to drink.   
  
"Just water, Obi-Wan. But I think I shall fetch it, if it's all the same to you." He moved towards the kitchen area in their apartment.   
"It seems that your idea of water and mine doesn't necessarily coincide." 


End file.
